"I want my mommy!"

Welcome to motherhood. It's an elite group really. Not for the weak. There is a serious disease that comes with the title of mom and induction into the motherhood group. Your friends and loved ones should have warned you prior to conception. WHAT? No one told you. Well, crap. Since bad news is better when it comes from a friend let me be the one to break it to you. Motherhood causes a very distinguishable lump on your hip. It's more a growth really. It's rarely not there and the further post-partum you get the large the growth. OH! Haha. That's your baby? Lol. Of course it is. I was finally able to detach mine somewhere around 4 yrs old.
Who am I kidding? I haven't fully detached my own growths. My children and I have been sharing a bedroom for the last week while we are on vacation at my mom's and my 10 year old just informed me that he WILL NOT go to bed without me. When explaining to him that he was old enough to go to bed without me my 13 year old jumped on the wagon and asked, "why can't you just come lay down while we fall asleep?" Geez, what's a mom to do? Those beautiful eyes of your baby boy and girl. Then the little man busts out the lip. Ugh. I'm had. So, here I sit, typing a post on separation anxiety in the dark bedroom while my "babies" fall asleep. So once again. I'm not the expert at much of anything except doing things wrong. Lol. But I can tell you what the experts say and we will sprinkle in a bit of what worked for me. (except tonight when clearly they are relapsing)
To understand that screaming growth clinging to your leg with a grip that not even Superman could mimic you've got to understand what's behind it. Isn't it ironic how mother nature is testing your abilities and frustrating that she's up in your business. I'd love to tell you that there is an easy fix here but there isn't. Unfortunately for us parents, separation anxiety is.....NORMAL. Ugh. Yep, totally normal and nearly every baby has it in some degree or another. Until somewhere around 8 months babies are blissfully unaware. Then it doesn't matter if you simply go around the corner, leave the room or drop them off for the evening with a friend so you can go out, they notice you are gone. They know you are gone and they have no concept of when you will come back. Usually around a year old they will loudly protest you're leaving as they are still without a concept of time. No ability to realize that you will come back for them. Sad hu?
It is different for each child as to how severely they develop separation anxiety and for how long it lasts. The good new is that you are a freaking FANTASTIC mama and you have developed a healthy relationship with your baby. You are well bonded. Ok, so what are some tactics to use to help ease that little growth off your hip and into the room full of toys and children? Ever heard the saying practice makes perfect? Yep, best way to approach this with a baby that is struggling with separation anxiety is to practice it. Like anything else if baby is hungry, tired or sick it's NOT a good time to practice. Best time to leave baby? Well rested and with a full belly. Get a plan in place. Make sure to hug and kiss baby good bye. You can even blow kisses and wave on your way out. Then make your big exit. Do it. You have to follow through. You leave. Now for the don't list. DON"T sneak out while baby isn't watching and once you leave DON'T go back. Not yet anyhow. It will just make things worse.
I know, I make it sound so easy. It's not, you know it and I know it. We question ourselves the second that pouty lip comes out and then Heaven help us when the tears come. If it's not only too much for your little one but also for you then start slow. One of our followers mentioned that her extreme mama's boy would be entering Sunday School and that he "just isn't ready". Well, you're his mom. You decide. Just because there is a time line that says he is old enough to go doesn't mean he has to. It doesn't mean that he NEVER has to, it just means that you get to practice. Practice at home. Find a friend you trust (writer clears throat) and leave him for 30 min, then and hour. Once you can leave him with someone else at home, take him to someone else's home. You have to develop the pattern of leaving him and then coming back for him. Over and over and over. Eventually, he'll get it. I promise. Do the same thing for Sunday school. Keep him with you for awhile and then leave him for the last 20 min. Pretty soon that 20 min will turn into the entire time. Some kids will just "peace out" mom and dad and hit the toy box in a dead sprint and others will find a good place on that hip to cling onto hours in advance of being dropped off. Just remember it's not a matter of if it's when. Practice makes perfect, give baby a good hug and kiss, take in that smell of baby lotion to get you through his tears and yours as you walk away and then enjoy your time knowing your are teaching your baby a very valuable life skill. You are a good mom, and if once in awhile you have to type in the dark then so be it.

I had the opportunity last night to have dinner with some of the most amazing women I've had the pleasure to ever know. Currently I am visiting my parents in Ohio and I met up with some girlfriends from H.S. for dinner. They are all gorgeous, talented women and every single one of them is also a mother. I suppose that anytime you put a bunch of mothers together to catch up on old times there will be much talk of the children. What mother doesn't wanna talk about her kids? Even when we say we aren't going to talk about them we do. Lol. Part of our conversation went to how to build self-esteem in our children. I got to thinking about that and decided it was totally post worthy. So, what's my take on it? I have a few thoughts. I think the most important is teaching your kids when they are with their friends that they don't have to give in to peer pressure. It doesn't matter the seriousness of what it is they are being pressured to do. Our children have their own thoughts, opinions and beliefs and they should stand up for them at all times. The next would be honesty. Remember children no matter how small learn from example. Teach your children to be honest at all times. The last of the things which I hope I am instilling in my children and which I think are important are the ability to love others, love work and to be spiritual. Whatever that means for your family. None of which are taught overnight and none of which are easy.  I found the following poem that I thought fits this post well. Whether you are a new mom or an experienced mom, teaching our children to be strong and to stand up for themselves is something we are continually teaching. Do you have any thoughts or comments? I'd love to hear comments from you more experienced mothers and from you new mom's as to what you are doing or have done to aid your child in having a strong self-esteem.

Myself

by Edgar Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in this struggle for fame and pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to think as I come and go
That I'm for bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself -- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.