Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry

You waited, you planned. It's so exciting. The new baby is here! Didn't anyone tell you the joke? "Do you know what causes sibling rivalry?" "The birth of a second child!" Lol. If all the sudden your house feels more like tomorrows football game then there may be a good reason. It's not only hard for you to adjust to having another child. Your 1st baby is really going to feel it. Your toddler is used to being the center of attention. While you and I both know that the addition of a new baby doesn't mean that you love your first any less, try to convince your toddler of that. All the sudden your time and attention will be divided. 

I had a client recently that brought home a new baby. A cute baby. Very cute. :) Anyhow, her 3 or 4 year old son became pretty jealous. He didn't dislike his sister, he was just really mad at his mom. He quit talking to her for a couple of days, then eventually he chose to speak to her again. Only when he did it was a yell. Everything was a yell. My cute client looked at me and said, "well, at least he is speaking to me know." Lol.

I've researched, I now what the professionals say, I know what I experienced. It sucks. You love your baby so much. Both of your babies, and all of the sudden you have to divide your time. There are a few things I compiled that I found and think you will find most helpful.

1. Prepare your child for the new baby by reading and sharing books. Introduce them to the idea of a sibling.

2. Get a small gift for your child from the new baby. Make it exciting to them that the baby is finally coming/has arrived.

3. Encourage your family and visitors to  fuss over your 1st born. Pay special attention to him.

4. Expect some regression. It's gonna be a life changing event for everyone. Your toddler may regress in potty training and behavior. Take time, even say things to your toddler like, "let's pretend you're still a tiny baby" he will probably happily indulge in your attention for just a few moments and then be off to play if he isn't just gently remind him he is a big boy and ask him to go find his favorite "big boy" toy.

There's no magic trick to cure sibling rivalry. Take it day by day and just be patient. In the long run the winning team will prevail. It will be one big happy FAMILY. Well, for a minute anyhow. Until your new addition is mobile and takes that favorite "big boy" toy.

Good luck and GO BYU!