The great placenta debate!

I haven't given up on this. I am still trying to understand. I don't think I will ever be able to see eye to eye with those that practice placentophagia, or placenta eating. I'm trying, I think in order be able to care for families that perhaps live or accept things differently from myself I need to truly make attempts to understand people with different views than myself. Sometimes it's so easy and then sometimes, like with this one, it is a little harder. It's not that I am trying to convince myself it's good and ok and all that. No way! I am just trying to understand it a little more so that I can see why for someone else it would be ok.
It's been easy to find testimonials from women who have consumed their own placenta's (I'm told even vegetarians can do it as the killing of an animal doesn't occur in it's harvesting) by simply googling. I love google. I've gotten quite good at it actually, which is why when I posted the last post I was so surprised to find so much of what I would categorize as "opinion" and little scientific research. Even the website that claimed to have scientific research had very little. I did get a giggle out of some of the reasoning on some of the websites though. One sites major claim was that other mammals do it and that is why we should, plain and simple. It's mother nature's way. *clears throat* ok, well, other such animals do it as to not attract predators that will eat their young. It's their instinct as to survive. I don't remember the last time someone came into the hospital because they had sniffed out someones after birth. :) I giggled to myself last night while doing research on the computer which in turned made my husband question what I was giggling at. I told him, I was just thinking about our likeness to other mammals. I explained to him the theory of eating our placenta because other mammals do and I told him I giggled cause I wondered what would happen if we as humans also did as other mammals and abandoned or even ate our week or injured young. You know, like my dog (who did eat some of her placentas) who ignored one of her puppies because it was much smaller and weaker than the others. Something was obviously wrong with it. Everyone told me that was mother natures way of weeding out the ones that wouldn't survive. Hum. I guess if dogs do it we should too right? Lol.
The other thing I can't figure out is why we would think that the placenta was for our benefit. It didn't take much looking for me to find all the ways the placenta benefits the baby. The placenta is made by our bodies with a specific purpose. There's no question as to how AMAZING it is. The whole process from conception to delivery is truly a miracle. So many times I just look at the new little humans and I am just in awe. I realize that THIS isn't a scientific study but just by reviewing the information there I learned so much. Even so much more about how the placenta is purely for the baby and the pregnancy. Even the hormones produced and stored in the placenta that many have claimed are for the mom and that help against post partum depression or will help with building a good milk supply, those hormones are for the pregnancy! Progesterone is vital in making sure that the pregnancy is not lost and Estrogen functions in stimulating uterine growth so that it can sustain a growing fetus. I can accept cultural reasons people may have for burying or consuming their placenta but I am still having a hard time understanding that it's just "natural" or "mother natures way". I may be too "medical" to fully understand the meaning behind the decisions that some mother's make. One thing I know is that no matter how your baby got here or what you did with your placenta as long as your baby is healthy and happy it's non of my business. But it sure does make for a good blog topic. :)

Wanna come to dinner? Placenta stew.

Placenta. It’s what’s for dinner.

Placenta Pizza.

Do you think I’m crazy? I’m not but someone might be! Warning, this post is kinda gross and probably offensive. I don’t care if you read on but read on at your own risk. If you choose to participate in the discussion please keep offensive language out or your comment will be deleted. With that said, sit back, relax and enjoy the afterbirth. Lol.

·         I received the following on the Time 4 Me facebook page several days back, "Did you see the article about women eating their own placenta because it's supposed to help prevent postpartum depression? I think it was on Good Things Utah...not sure. I'll try to find the link. I'd love to hear a discussion on it!"

OMG! I searched and read and googled and read and then contemplated it until my head hurt. I just can’t wrap my head around ingesting one’s own placenta. Ya’all may be offended at my lack of open-mindedness  on this subject and I guess that’s ok. We can agree to disagree but please don’t invite me to dinner when you have placenta stew. 

There was an article on msnbc.com that I loved. I’m pretty sure the writer and I think alike, a little. The article is discussing the fact that there isn’t much if any research to support the effects that these women are claiming to receive from ingesting their placenta. They are quoting Diana Dell who at the time of the article was the assistant professor of ob-gyn at  Duke University. Drum roll please……favorite quote, “There’s certainly no data,” Dell says. “And, truthfully, the only place there may be data is in veterinary journals.” Excuse me? Veterinary journals? I have experienced the miracle of birth. I have experienced it 17 times. I have 2 children and I have watched 2 litters of puppies be born. You didn’t think I had that many kids did you? Bwahaha. So here’s what I know, my dog did ingest some of her placenta, but not if I could help it! My dog also licks her own butt, that of her puppies and for the first several weeks licks up their poop and pee! Are you trying to tell me that one of the arguments in favor of eating our placenta is because of the facts that we are mammals and other mammals do it? If that’s your argument I want you to think about one thing…..butt licking! I’d like to think that I am a slightly more advanced species of mammal.

I try to avoid being completely one sided on topics. So while I obviously don’t think this is much of a yummy topic I wanted to give you the reasons that people DO do this. One problem, there isn’t any actual factual research to support the benefits of placenta eating. Now I can’t say that if I had cancer and traditional treatments weren’t working that I wouldn’t try it, in capsule form, if someone, many someone’s told me that it worked to cure or slow the progression of the cancer. When it comes to post partum depression and milk production I can think of many artificial means to cure those ailments that I would try many times over before resorting to consuming my own placenta. But….if you are interested in it read the NY Magazine articles. If you already do this I would love, love, love to hear your side. What it does for you, how you felt before and after, where you found your research, anything that you have to say that could help me to understand. I feel like I am a pretty open minded person but like I said, I just can’t wrap my head around this one.

Contest Closing!

Alright, the contest is closing up. If any of our new followers want to get it on it look back through our older posts. Go to the "Contest" post and comment with something you like about the blog, a topic you want covered or whatever. Go to the Time 4 Me facebook page "like" Time 4 Me and find the status that asks, "What makes you crazy as a mother? Any pet peeves you have? and comment on it. Then post on your facebook wall the link to the blog. That's it! Your name will be entered into the drawing for the I-tunes gift card! Contest closes Thursday September 1st! Thanks for participating and good luck!

Girls' Night Out

American Fork Hospital's Girls' Night Out is tonight! Come on out. It's free for attendees and there will be some great booths. Hope to see all my Utah friends there!

"I want my mommy!"

Welcome to motherhood. It's an elite group really. Not for the weak. There is a serious disease that comes with the title of mom and induction into the motherhood group. Your friends and loved ones should have warned you prior to conception. WHAT? No one told you. Well, crap. Since bad news is better when it comes from a friend let me be the one to break it to you. Motherhood causes a very distinguishable lump on your hip. It's more a growth really. It's rarely not there and the further post-partum you get the large the growth. OH! Haha. That's your baby? Lol. Of course it is. I was finally able to detach mine somewhere around 4 yrs old.
Who am I kidding? I haven't fully detached my own growths. My children and I have been sharing a bedroom for the last week while we are on vacation at my mom's and my 10 year old just informed me that he WILL NOT go to bed without me. When explaining to him that he was old enough to go to bed without me my 13 year old jumped on the wagon and asked, "why can't you just come lay down while we fall asleep?" Geez, what's a mom to do? Those beautiful eyes of your baby boy and girl. Then the little man busts out the lip. Ugh. I'm had. So, here I sit, typing a post on separation anxiety in the dark bedroom while my "babies" fall asleep. So once again. I'm not the expert at much of anything except doing things wrong. Lol. But I can tell you what the experts say and we will sprinkle in a bit of what worked for me. (except tonight when clearly they are relapsing)
To understand that screaming growth clinging to your leg with a grip that not even Superman could mimic you've got to understand what's behind it. Isn't it ironic how mother nature is testing your abilities and frustrating that she's up in your business. I'd love to tell you that there is an easy fix here but there isn't. Unfortunately for us parents, separation anxiety is.....NORMAL. Ugh. Yep, totally normal and nearly every baby has it in some degree or another. Until somewhere around 8 months babies are blissfully unaware. Then it doesn't matter if you simply go around the corner, leave the room or drop them off for the evening with a friend so you can go out, they notice you are gone. They know you are gone and they have no concept of when you will come back. Usually around a year old they will loudly protest you're leaving as they are still without a concept of time. No ability to realize that you will come back for them. Sad hu?
It is different for each child as to how severely they develop separation anxiety and for how long it lasts. The good new is that you are a freaking FANTASTIC mama and you have developed a healthy relationship with your baby. You are well bonded. Ok, so what are some tactics to use to help ease that little growth off your hip and into the room full of toys and children? Ever heard the saying practice makes perfect? Yep, best way to approach this with a baby that is struggling with separation anxiety is to practice it. Like anything else if baby is hungry, tired or sick it's NOT a good time to practice. Best time to leave baby? Well rested and with a full belly. Get a plan in place. Make sure to hug and kiss baby good bye. You can even blow kisses and wave on your way out. Then make your big exit. Do it. You have to follow through. You leave. Now for the don't list. DON"T sneak out while baby isn't watching and once you leave DON'T go back. Not yet anyhow. It will just make things worse.
I know, I make it sound so easy. It's not, you know it and I know it. We question ourselves the second that pouty lip comes out and then Heaven help us when the tears come. If it's not only too much for your little one but also for you then start slow. One of our followers mentioned that her extreme mama's boy would be entering Sunday School and that he "just isn't ready". Well, you're his mom. You decide. Just because there is a time line that says he is old enough to go doesn't mean he has to. It doesn't mean that he NEVER has to, it just means that you get to practice. Practice at home. Find a friend you trust (writer clears throat) and leave him for 30 min, then and hour. Once you can leave him with someone else at home, take him to someone else's home. You have to develop the pattern of leaving him and then coming back for him. Over and over and over. Eventually, he'll get it. I promise. Do the same thing for Sunday school. Keep him with you for awhile and then leave him for the last 20 min. Pretty soon that 20 min will turn into the entire time. Some kids will just "peace out" mom and dad and hit the toy box in a dead sprint and others will find a good place on that hip to cling onto hours in advance of being dropped off. Just remember it's not a matter of if it's when. Practice makes perfect, give baby a good hug and kiss, take in that smell of baby lotion to get you through his tears and yours as you walk away and then enjoy your time knowing your are teaching your baby a very valuable life skill. You are a good mom, and if once in awhile you have to type in the dark then so be it.

I had the opportunity last night to have dinner with some of the most amazing women I've had the pleasure to ever know. Currently I am visiting my parents in Ohio and I met up with some girlfriends from H.S. for dinner. They are all gorgeous, talented women and every single one of them is also a mother. I suppose that anytime you put a bunch of mothers together to catch up on old times there will be much talk of the children. What mother doesn't wanna talk about her kids? Even when we say we aren't going to talk about them we do. Lol. Part of our conversation went to how to build self-esteem in our children. I got to thinking about that and decided it was totally post worthy. So, what's my take on it? I have a few thoughts. I think the most important is teaching your kids when they are with their friends that they don't have to give in to peer pressure. It doesn't matter the seriousness of what it is they are being pressured to do. Our children have their own thoughts, opinions and beliefs and they should stand up for them at all times. The next would be honesty. Remember children no matter how small learn from example. Teach your children to be honest at all times. The last of the things which I hope I am instilling in my children and which I think are important are the ability to love others, love work and to be spiritual. Whatever that means for your family. None of which are taught overnight and none of which are easy.  I found the following poem that I thought fits this post well. Whether you are a new mom or an experienced mom, teaching our children to be strong and to stand up for themselves is something we are continually teaching. Do you have any thoughts or comments? I'd love to hear comments from you more experienced mothers and from you new mom's as to what you are doing or have done to aid your child in having a strong self-esteem.

Myself

by Edgar Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in this struggle for fame and pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to think as I come and go
That I'm for bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself -- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

The "you're letting your kid eat what?" look

You know what I'm talking about. "The look" is one of the most guilt inducing, second thought invoking, self criticising things there is for us as parents. It's not the look itself so much as the fact that someone, ANYONE, is judging you as a parent. Not only are they judging you but they think you are making the wrong decision. Yep, I know the look. I know it all to well. But, that's why I'm here and why you keep coming back right? So you can learn from my mistakes? NO! So you can release that parenting guilt. None of us are perfect. It's just that the people that give "the look" think they are.
So you're wondering what caused "the look" right? Well here's the story. It was an overcast Ohio day. The temperature was perfect. The family was all in town. My parents, my brother and his wife and my children and I headed off to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. It's become sort of a family tradition. Our waitress was an older gal. Surely past retirement age. If she wasn't then life has not been kind to her. I don't know the circumstances behind people but every time I see someone that I know could be retired, like the Walmart greeter or my waitress at Cracker Barrel I get a little soft spot. It's a mix of pity and admiration just so I cover all my bases. They could be working just for fun to keep themselves busy and youthful or they could be working because they aren't able to retire. Either way I'm covered in my respect of them. Back to the story. A soft spot had been created for our waitress that day.
The first time "the look" came was when we were ordering our drinks. Coffee for my parents and my brother and his wife, my daughter wanted hot chocolate, Diet Coke for me (what? I don't drink coffee and I wanted some freaking caffeine! Lol) and a kids Coke for the boy. There it was, "the look". I let it go. I knew what caused it. Whatever. No big deal. Maybe she had a bad dream last night about someone and their Coke. Usually once you get "the look" you don't get it again. Once they have shown their disapproval for your parenting skills you are safe from the torture again. Nope! Not today. Our waitress came back to deliver the drinks and what to her wondering eyes should appear, my son quietly entertaining himself.....with his PSP. There it is again "the look". Well now I'm thinking, "listen lady, at least my kid is being quiet and not disturbing the other patrons or making a mess on the floor or whatever!" but I didn't say a thing. Just smile and pretend ya don't care. My story is too long hu? Ok, to the point. She went to take our orders and I ordered my son the kids pancake and a whole order of bacon. "Kids pancake and a 1/2 of bacon," she reads back to me. Then we go back and forth a couple of times where I tell her I need a WHOLE order of bacon for my son. Not a half, a WHOLE. (it's not like a whole order is that much, she'd probably die if she knew I had fed him 8 pieces the day before at home. Haha) The rest of our visit was uneventful. I let my kid have a refill on his Coke (which he didn't drink) and he ate his WHOLE 3 pieces of bacon along with his pancake and my sausage. Now are you wondering yet why I'm telling you this story? It's the guilt people. That stupid parenting guilt. Why do we do it to ourselves. I can't even begin to describe to you the number of times I have beat myself up over a decision I made or a parenting tactic I used. DON'T do it. Children are resilient. I am more concerned about whether my kid says please and thank you than I am over if he wants bacon for every meal. (of course he doesn't get it but we are at Grandma and Grandpa's and they can spoil him however they see fit)
I have been using this blog to give you some real world advice/experience along with the standard answers to what some of your questions have been. If you take nothing else away from here I want you to remember not to worry about "the look." It isn't possible for you to be the "worst mom ever" because that is a title I already proudly wear. I figure if my kids have clean clothing and a clean home, good manners, are active, spiritual and obedient children I will take the "worst mom ever" title. So let go of your mom guilt. Feed your kid bacon. If they ask for bacon again, then give them bacon. For you new mommies, quit feeling bad over letting your husband do the night time feedings or changing the diapers. Quit worrying about leaving the children and going out with your husband for the night. Who cares if you let your kids eat things that other people don't! You've heard the saying before, don't sweat the small stuff. If you hug your babies, kiss your babies, put your baby in time out and make them take a nap and then hug and kiss them some more. If you love your baby more than life itself then you have what it takes to be a good mom. Get rid of the guilt and just enjoy smelling the baby lotion!